Wednesday, September 5, 2012


Seriously, what a sanctimonious pile of steaming horseshit. I'm talking about the much remarked-upon video of Chuck Norris warning America about the oncoming "thousand years of darkness" in the event of Obama's second Presidential term. I'm not going to embed it 'cause it's just too fucking stupid - click the above link if you must.

I can't say I'm surprised to see Norris, never one of my favorite action heroes and never someone I suspected of having anything like a credible opinion about anything political, shilling so hard and so mindlessly for the Republican party. I take offense to the hare-brained notion that Obama's second term will lead America into apocalypse, though I suppose it's helpful to have the Right's demonizing rhetoric rendered so obviously. This is some serious lowest common denominator shit, and if it's the best argument the GOP is capable of making for their case then they need to uproot themselves from civil discourse and leave it to smarter, saner Republicans more able to form coherent thoughts and better equipped to speak to current realities. I refuse to assume that all who vote for Mitt Romney in the coming election are stupid; I have to believe that any honestly free-thinking Republicans would be appalled to have Norris presuming to speak for them in this shrill and idiotic spot.

And what the fuck happened to Norris' voice? This isn't the voice of an American badass, it's the voice I hear in my head whenever I try to read an idiotic fanboy rant criticizing Carol Danvers' costume change in the pages of CAPTAIN MARVEL. The thousand years spot looks and sounds like the GOP once again letting a senile, out-of-touch, possibly crazy Hollywood icon speak on their behalf. Which didn't go well last week, either.

Since I can't bear the though of anybody leaving an entry here dumber than they were when they started reading it, here's some fragments of Orson Welles' aborted and unseen MERCHANT OF VENICE:


  1. I take you won't be reviewing the Chuck Norris approved "Last Ounce of Courage"? The Christian "legal thriller" about a guy named Bob Revere (really) leading the charge to keep Christ in Christmas and the bible in schools. It's booked at my local theater and the stench of it is annoying me.

  2. Chad, this is the first I've heard of this movie. Here's hoping it'll be the last. How surprising that the movie isn't booked in San Francisco.